April Goals: The Comparison Trap

Okay, so I can already tell that the weather is changing this afternoon from where it was this morning. The last few days have been calm, the city sounds muted by the sunshine and higher temps. Now, the trees in the backyard are blowing and I know a cold front is moving in, which is why my wardrobe is useful year round in SF – I never pack away coats or skirts because I never know when I’ll be able to wear them!

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However fleeting it may be, the sunny weather has been giving me energy, and I was thinking that maybe I’d choose a bigger and “more meaningful” goal than foam rolling/stretching for the month. Other people’s goals seemed better and more exciting than mine! And then I realized that I have foam rolled exactly twice since the start of the month. And maybe I’ve stretched those other days, but I can’t guarantee it. So I realized that perhaps this isn’t such a small goal after all. Or at least, it’s not an easy one so maybe I shouldn’t just give up on it because it doesn’t seem very exciting. 

Lesson: The comparison trap is always lurking, and the only way to avoid falling into it is to consciously step over it. We can achieve our goals by supporting each other AND ourselves! 
 
  • It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.  ~Agnes Repplier
  • You are your own judge.  The verdict is up to you.  ~Astrid Alauda
  • The finest thing in the world is knowing how to belong to oneself.  ~Michel de Montaigne, Of Solitude
  • Take the time to come home to yourself every day.  ~Robin Casarjean
I admit to a certain sense of insecurity as of late. Perhaps it’s because of our impending wedding celebration (I quelled my Pinterest addiction early) or because I’m in class and only working very part time (I need to do ALL THE THINGS) or because spring brings feelings of change and reflection, and in that comes the question of “what am I actually doing?”
 
In response to that, I had several wise people tell me to go with my gut and what I like and want to do and to spend less time caring about what others think and more time moving forward. And then, of course, I ran into this post on intuition by my supremely insightful friend Nitika. It seems to have popped up at just the right time, as so often happens. 
 
To deal with the comparison trap pitfall, I’ve been doing a lot of deep breathing and self talk and checking my compulsive need to check Facebook/Instagram/Reader and turn my focus inward or taking the time to enjoy whatever environment I happen to be in at the moment (BART rides are particularly fruitful to observe). Oh, and writing run on sentences because sometimes I’m just not ready for a full stop. 
 
So as you tackle your goals this month, don’t let what other folks are doing get you down! There is plenty of love and success in the world to go around; we don’t have to hoard it or be fearful that we’ll lose it/never get enough. Allow yourself to be inspired by what others are doing, but don’t get attached to those same results!
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