I had this really amazing yoga practice on Saturday. It wasn’t that I mastered a new pose or even did every single vinyasa and felt super strong. Instead, I was just really in it. My movements were in sync with my breaths, my body moved easily, and I felt a lot of things during the class.
Part of the reason I had such a good practice, I think, was because I didn’t go to the farmers’ market in the morning. Let me explain. During the week, I get up pretty regularly between 5:00 and 5:15 am. On Saturdays, I’m usually up by 6:00 am, and out the door to the farmers’ market by 7:15. I’m a die hard. I admit to being stressed when I can’t go – I feel like I’ll miss out on ALL THE SEASONAL PRODUCE.
Saturday morning I was up even a bit earlier than normal, around 5 am, after going to bed early the night before. I did some reading for my physiology class, ate some breakfast, snuggled with Hippo, and debated getting up to gather all my bags and such for the market.
Instead, I went upstairs, climbed back in bed, and dozed for an hour. Alex and I woke up a bit later, got some coffee and he walked with me to the grocery store. We were a little early, so we stood on the corner and watched a flock of pigeons fly in circles, land, fly in circles, land, making hilarious commentary to each other the whole time. We spent the rest of the day running errands, enjoying the day, and spent the night bowling with good friends in Game of Thrones costumes (I’m Ghost, Jon Snow’s direwolf.)
I’m detailing this seemingly normal day because it felt ridiculously good to not rush out the door, fight for a parking spot, and navigate the crowds of people at my favorite farmers’ market. I probably ended up paying a bit more for my produce than I normally do, but it was worth it.
Normally, the market is very energizing and fun for me, but on Saturday, I just wasn’t feeling it. Instead of trying to force myself to go and stick to a routine like I normally might, I honored what my body and mind were telling me. And I felt the positive results of that decision for the rest of the day.
Lately, I’ve been getting the message to slow down, as I’ve written about here. So often, I’ve gotten that message and I’ve straight ignored it, or even pushed harder. I’ll admit that sometimes it works. But often it doesn’t, and I’m left more tired and stressed than before.
The last week or two, I’ve been trying something different. I stayed in more, did more child’s pose during yoga practice, asked for more help, and took more deep breaths. I didn’t think as much about my nutrient intake, and instead thought about making warm, tasty food that would feel comforting. I let go of the need to run, and instead embraced burpees and the rowing machine. I ate an extra piece of chocolate.
All of that culminated into Saturday where I felt so joyous and light I felt like I was dancing down the street. I felt freer, less self-conscious, and less anxious.
Now, in order to avoid the whole, “people only presenting their best selves on social media” issue, let me tell you this feeling lasted until Sunday morning. I woke up later than planned, didn’t get workout in, I realized I forgot some things I needed at the store to make donuts from Ashley’s new book, Baked Donuts for Everyone. Finally got to the store and home, and proceeded to spend so long making donuts that we ended up eating them at noon for lunch. So, of course I ate four and then had a sugar stomachache. We then went on a wonderful walk to enjoy the day. I made it to the end, but then ended up essentially doubled over at the bus stop with menstrual cramps from hell. Once home, I sobbed through the Cory Monteith tribute of Glee and then took a nap. The rest of the night was kind of a wash, although I made a reasonably delicious and healthy dinner (followed by another donut).
This morning has been somewhere between joyously productive and “I just want to sit on the couch and stare into space.” And so it goes. Now my job today is to listen to my mind and body telling me what they need to feel energized for the week and do those things. And I’ll do it all again tomorrow.